👊👊 The Fight

I am, if anything, a fighter. I like battles. More importantly, I like to win. The thing that happens sometimes is that I forget what the war is and get stuck in little battles. There is a war going on that is killing our children. We are being led to believe that life is expendable. We are being convinced that we have a right to choose whether someone lives or dies. We are sickened by actual wars and the resulting travesties  yet we passively sit by and let the war on our next generation escalate into a battle veiled by protecting rights. This is secretly causing the war of protecting our children to be lost. These battles and this war is not about people it is about Good vs Evil. Evil is winning. I see this and I know this but I forget and I frequently lose my battles because I forget that we dont have to win every battle to win the war. John, our prayer warrior , reminded me of this and the fact that winning a battle with a fool is not a win. 

Standing in front of Planned Parenthood is exhausting. It is frustrating. It is political. It is religious and it is secular. Evil swirls around this battle ground like a heavy cloud. It is the grief I see on the faces of mothers who have chosen abortion . It is the despair of those being coerced into abortion..  It is so thick some days I swear I can see it. Ironically I think these days are the ones where I forget what it really is. These are the days when I can feel myself quitting. 

I wanted to quit the other day. I was feeling disdainful about my coworker quitting. It is so much better when she is there. I was feeling the weight of the responsibility of keeping things going, not just daily, but going WELL, daily. I thought maybe it was time for me to turn my fight in another direction, to another field. It had been awhile since we`d had a save. To me these are the “wins”.

While I Know that I am called to do this work, I am not sure how long I am supposed to do this work. We do this bargaining when we want a break. I was measuring my calling by the amount of tangible successes. I was starting to look for a fight that was easier. Ironically God called me back in the ring. I think He served up some tangible wins for my human heart. Lest anyone think I am saying this is about me, I am assure you I know it is not.  I know that all of this, including my faltering, is about human frailty. It is also about a GOOD we do not know and an EVIL we can not fathom and the everpresent daily battle and the ultimate war. This conundrum teaches (ME) us about winning in ways that are new to me. It is a journey fraught with humility. It can only be fought with highly sought after grace. Let me encourage you all to stay in the ring in whichever way God is calling you to. Let your voice and your presence be His good.